recurring aliases for anonymity


leaving so soon?

- 5/19/24: long argument with persimmon over whether or not magical girls from madoka are actually able to die.
#2 trisha paytas dream where she was pregnant again and got married at disneyland (?)

- 5/14/24: nightmare in which i was back in the 2nd grade on a field trip. we were all on a short bus, going around many different enviornments and looking around. which led us sometime to a house where i was a different state (ive never seen this house) it appeared to be abandoned, so i showed my class around. my dad appeared out of nowhere, like a parent chaperone.
my dad and i decided to explore around the house together away from the group. i remmeber us walking down this super long set of stairs, toward a basement-like area. at the bottom we saw a light on, in a room to the far right at the back of the hallway infront of us. he assumed he left it on the last time he was there, over a decade ago. (why would the house have electricity, how would the lightbulb not have died by then) while we were about to walk forward toward the room, we heard a door creak open and foot steps running towards us from past the hallway. so, we both started running up the stairs as fast as we could to escape. (i woke up sweating, with a fast heartbeat)

- 5/10/24: i dont remember the contents of the dream. but it was a dream, within a dream, within a dream

- 5/9/24: found a packet with 3 baby flip flops. on the packaging it said "for 1 day olds" i told my dad about the package and he said "i don't think that exists." but it did exist. it really did

- 4/27/24: i went into a sandwich shop, got a sandwich. it was late at night. i chose to sit with people who were sitting in the shop. 3 of them.
to my left sitting across from eachother were two girls, kinda queer presenting but super high-femme types. and infront of me was a plain looking dude. blonde hair, nerdy, thin.
the guy apparently didn't know either of the two girls. they were all just eating in silence. so, when i joined we all started talking and found a lot of common interests. like, all of us did art and the plain guy and i played the same games. we hit it off. and eventually more people ended up coming to the shop. the girls seemed to know these people who came inside and introduced me to them.
everyone eventually ended up leaving late into the night. i found one of the girls on instagram, which was exciting, but it seemed like she didn't really use social media. but, i also found the guy! we became friends and eventually romantically interested in eachoteher ... for some reason.
there was also a part somewhere in the dream where i was in a car and noticed a guy dressed in a spiderman costume. we made very long intense eye contact. it was suspicious

- 4/18/24: guy was eating a ton of bricks and had to go to the hospital to get his entire stomach removed

- 4/15/24: persimmon was attempting to grow a cult. they built a giant silo at my parent's house as the headquarters for said cult.
half-way through the dream replaced persimmon with a different person; a girl from my class whom i never speak to.
she eventually tried to convince everyone that joined the cult, to jump off the silo one night. a bunch of families did it and died. (i woke up very scared)

- 4/11/24: dream where my mom morphed into a different ethnicity (japanese) and became a high school teacher

- 03/29/24: in this dream persimmon, mango, and i were driving to pick up persimmon's family cat- (they do not have a cat irl) it was a black cat. i remember it was very tiny and unmoving and i think i was the one designated for holding it. the 3 of us ended up bringing the cat to persimmon's parent's at the beach, who claimed they wanted the cat to "see a rainbow"

- 03/28/24: was getting on an airplane with my class. once on the airplane, the engine started failing. i remember the plane being quite small and looking out of the window very afraid. it was dark red to a dark grey in the sky.
as we were trying to land on the beach infront of us, a helicopter infront of us caught on fire and fell into the ocean.

- 03/07/24: i was in regency era england with a group of outsiders trying to overthrow the queen. oh, and we were all shapeshifters. i think we failed the overthrowing part, but we ended up burning the castle down.. so yay.

- 03/03/24: lychee made a bunch of different furry templates for me to see what kind of furry i'd like (?)
#2 i played in a big overwatch tournament, but instead of mouse and keyboard.. we were each the actual characters themselves. could switch in and out of the characters and our human bodies. we played in mixed teams of random people and then gendered teams.
sometime during our first match, i noticed the tank on our team was polish. i developed a crush on him (bc ofc).. anyways, we ended up losing because one of our supports sucked. after the game i tried to hit on the polish guy. couldn't tell if he was interested. #3 i was in a highschool or college program where we all got our own unique looking rooms/dorms? in a forest.
the room i guy was a room where lychee got a room away from me, where some incel-type guy used to live. he refused to move out for whatever reason and started to threaten everyone who would try and talk to him. eventually, he attempted to kill some people but he failed lol
lychee didn't want the incel guy's room anyways because it was a strange shape. she ended up getting a log cabin sort of room at the bottom of a large hill where the school sat. i got a cabin that was close to hers, i was content. it was cozy and cute with warm lighting. a little small, but whatever. the only problem with it being that you had to walk up the hill every morning to get to the school

- 02/29/24: persimmon and i raised a robot with big feet only for it to be sent to the military and become a missile...

- 02/28/24: i decided to move back home, and was particularly interested in these apartments with beautiful stained glass windows and rent-stability. they were usually taken at all times, but i happened to get lucky and found an opening for one of the apartments. small issue was that the apartment was insanely gigantic and i felt like a major waste of space. funnily enough, another unit opened in the same day that was extremely shoe-box, but overall better than the gigantic one. i ended up moving into that small one. i struggled with how to arrange the room due to my huge desk i have irl, but overall was happy, self-confident, and comfy.

#2 unsure if this is related/inbetween dream #1.. but it feels a bit disconnected. i was driving back home and decided to stop in san-francisco to view odd, thin, and old houses, alone. it was quite fun, taking pictures of these super compact houses in a forest-like area. but, i was quickly stopped by a man telling me i was invading on private property and trying to shoot at me.

i escaped that man, to a boat-house nearby, which was owned by family friends of ours. the boat house ended up flooding though, which forced me to give up the whole trip and drive back that night. when i got back, i walked into my parent's home and while i was walking upstairs and talking to my dad, he fell ill. he said he was dizzy and not shortly after.. he turned into a small rock. we called 911.

- 02/26/24: this dream took place in an area where i frequently dream. some run-down beige-colored thrift store, with a sunny and abandoned parking-lot. anyways, i don't remember too much of the flow for this dream, but i remember it starting off with me entering the store and walking up to a shelf full of books/magazines. i ended up finding some strange zines, manga-adjacent ones and one where it was half shirtless white men and half trains/vacuum cleaners. after getting excited about my find, i wanted to go up to a floor i hadn't been before. in the dream i found out there were 40 something floors. i chose the 20th floor. and i think on this floor was a mannequin, that tried to attack and kill me.

dream #2 involved me driving around what looked like american midwest or something, near an airport. and i don't remember much of this dream, but i do remember losing my car and telling my mom. she was obviously the fuck do you lose a car. apparently i had gotten out of the car at an intersection in a fugue state and went into a department store. the car was obviously stolen lol.

dream #3 is even more vague. i believe it could've been after escaping in dream #1.. dunno. anyways, what i do remember is being stranded/lost on some kind of college campus somewhere like malaysia or singapore. i remember looking at instagram, for posts in the area, just out of boredom i guess and i found this one girl's posts that i found to be appealing compasitionally. somehow, this ended up to me meeting her and her friends and talking shit with them about their college lives. (chill)

- 02/15/24: the night after meeting my friend banana's boyfriend, i had a dream involving them. banana and her boyfriend dumped me off in the middle of nowhere, after hanging out, so they could go to the gym without me. i think they thought i couldn't keep up or something (true). i didn’t know how to get back home though.. so, i tried bargaining with this woman at a bus stop (for money) but it turned out she was a cult recruiter and she tried to capture me. i escaped

- 02/07/24: this dream was set in my parent's neighborhood, but with some buildings i didn't recognize. lychee and i were exploring the neighborhood before everyone woke up. strangely it was fairly light out. while we were walking around lychee told me she was pregnant and that she was going to raise the kid without the dad. somehow this ended up with us sneaking into this older womans house to snoop..(?) the person that occupied this house, an older woman, woke up and saw us. strangely, she didn't seem off-put by us at all.instead she welcomed us and tried to become our friends. i was pretty uninterested and tried to leave. lychee however, was interested and seeked an emotional bond with this random old woman.

the dream ended with the underlying issue of this old woman and my pregnant friend having an unhealthy bond. and her sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the old womans house.

- 02/01/24: dream multiple dreams about cats

- 01/27/24: chaotic dream in where my mail did not arrive to persimmon

- 01/17/24: i got a cat named butter pecan and he got ran over

- 01/11/24: persimmon and i were dressing up as vampires, using my mom's closet. i believe this was for some major halloween event that everyone went to and that we were pressured to go to. we were rushing for time since my mom's closet was confusing. in the rush to make the boat to the party.. we ended up getting on the wrong boat and sailed all the way to arctic china with some randos.

- 01/10/24: dream where persimmon's family was coming over to my families house to make acquaintances. persimmon asked me to make smoothies before their family got there, but persimmon started randomly freaking out about the smoothie's consistency. i texted them, "kys" bc it was a good smoothie..

- 01/09/24: this dream was set back in highschool and i had a new schedule where my first class was a class on how to sit in a chair correctly(?). in the class, there were only 3 students. and here is direct quoting from my iphone 6:17am about this dream: "after chair. my schedule was kinda messed up so i went down to the front desk to ask and i met this guy making a game where the game has you going down the library adn then it gets smeller and smeller. it turns into anime girl faces. and then an anime girl appears and starts chasing you. i thought it was pretty fun bc she was very close to getting me."

- 01/01/24: i was at some big apex legends convention and i became chatty with this big streamer, who was streaming at the event. after a bit i told his chat about this false memory i had just remembered. i was rambling about these things called "zip rats". eventually, he kicked me off bc i was laughing too much and seemed duranged ig. (in retrospect "zip rats" are definitely zhu-zhu pets if anyone remembers those)

- 12/03/23: 1: i was playing pyke from league of legends- i went past the bot lane towers and to the left near the enemies wolfs. in that general area was a peculiar memorial of a girl. not really a memorial, but something of the dead. there was a massive statue with a real girls body in it, like a mummy i guess, but made of cement. (tw) apparently, the guards assigned to protecting the statue did sexual things to it. anyways, the girl inside the statue had a shopping list before she died that she asked to be carried out after her death. problem is.. she only wrote down locations, not objects on the list. so, the soldiers just got towels from the location and nothing else bc they are lazy and men(derogatory). i saw this disrespectful towel problem (with my mom next to me?) and we decided to call over the soldiers to tell them off. the soldiers didn't care and just tried to convince me to join the military.

2: persimmon, mango, and i were at a famous japanese singer's concert (maybe kyary pamyu pamyu.) mango and i were at the front, trying to harrass the singer for some reason(i think we were just excited beyond belief). the singer then threw her signed books into the crowd. we beat up people to get them : D

- 12/02/23: dream where kirk from gilmore girls (ew?) was trying to use one of those giant front-wheel bikes from the 1800s, on a narrow bridge. he fell off and died.

- 11/28/23: random dad and daughter get into water tank at zoo to help the diver spread dirt at the bottom of the tank. but the dad was compacting the dirt at the bottom.. when you weren't supposed to(unknown). while he was doing that, the daughter saw a small seal on the side of the glass to the right of her dad. but next to it was a tiny shark, to the left of the seal, that was covered by her dads body. she went to pet the seal. the shark ate them all.

- 11/23/23: putting an orange cat into a little raincoat. (i hit my head after waking up from this dream by accident)

- 11/21/23: direct quote from my notes on my phone: 3:47am"in forst with group or peopl and on the jjnfld to try and get to this jungle themed ride. i was in it before. scary nf train tracks big brjdjen almost fell off. guy who made ride jumped off in different country. i was scared bc nothing was well made. i was s fs"

- 11/17/23: dream had me located in a fundamentalist polish church. i didn't fuck with their beliefs, i think. regardless, i was composing their church songs for some reason.

my grandma on my moms side owned a thirft store in this dream. it was huge, bright, and void of people. she had a bunch of anime merchandise(?) on one rack, mostly eva stuff. it was getting late and my mom/grandma were leaving the store, but i wanted to get some free stuff. i was given a budget of 45~50 so i chose a cracked ponyo sculpture and 3 chibi evangelion figures of asuka, rei, and mari. apparently the figures were $3 originally but my grandma overpriced them to $20 each, so i secretly took them in my pocket. they were above the budget given(technically). at some point in this dream, i remember making contact with my zbrush teacher who was just outside the sotre and we talked about how he had a bunch of chibi figures as well lol and how my grandma was overpricing them.

- 11/14/23: i was trying to prank widowmaker from overwatch with her venom mine(it was green for some reason). i was hiding it from her, but she walked over and saw my plan. i ran away bc she was going to kill me. later i started to make a bottom text meme about it, but as i was making it she ran at me. i woke up yelling "hello??!"

- 11/4/23: visiting a tiny town with ~1000 residents. i was alone visiting- i believe there was a underlying reason for the visit but i can't remember. i do remember however, that i had not been there before and that it was dusk + foggy.

the next thing i remember from this dream is stopping infront of a log-cabin type of building that was turned into a breakfast joint. when i went in there were bar-stools to the right, with two people sitting. one being an older white man in just underwear, drinking coffee, and the other an older lady with curly black hair reading the newspaper. i don't think i ordered anything, so the older guy struck up a conversation with me asking me what i was doing here so early. to which i replied "just visiting, you?", his question was not out of curiousity most likely because he followed up with telling me about how he just started working at a strip club and he is tired. left after that.

- 10/31/23: happy emoting with cho'gath from league of legends!

- 10/30/23: dream started with me opening the door outside to my parents house and finding a package from cherry who was living in LA. the package was about half my body size and decorated with various colorful stickers. after being suspicious of the box, i finally opened it. what was inside was a single can of bear spray, no wrapping, no protection (though, i suppose it doesn't need any)

this part is a little fragmented since i'm writing this from phone notes i wrote at 3am. i think i had been looking at pictures of this seemingly abandoned white, small, and slightly damaged house. the house was surrounded by tall grass, all the pictures depicted it during sunset as well with a thick mist around that was brightened by the setting sun. anyways, i think i'm gathering that i had been wanting to go to this place for a long time but did not want to go without bear spray(?)

luckily for me, there was a trail right across from my parents house. to get to the trail i had to get up what i estimate to be about 100 stairs. as i had climbed the big steps and began my journey down the hilly trail, off to the side a large drop off with a clearing laid 2 black bears playing with wild boards in the dirt. as i got closer to the bottom of the hill i was on, one of the black bears blocked my way. to which i quickly whipped out my newly recieved bear spray and got him. though, obviously, i was still scared and got the fuck out of there, back up the hill. (i didnt get to go to the house, wtf)

- 10/29/23: i was on a city bus and as i approached my stop, i noticed a shit ton of fruits that spawned in my lap. i didn't want to leave it there for some reason, so i got off trying to carry as many as i could with me. luckily for me there was a grocery store right infront of me. once i got inside i tried to speak to a worker about donating the fruit, but she rejected me and told me my fruits were diseased. :(

- 10/27/23: (this one is kinda faded so sorry in advance) i was locked in a dark and blueish hued room that had a few other rooms attatched to it, bathroom, bedroom, etc. the situation was that a designated "killer" was spawned in by an entity in the room with you. these killers seemed to be random people, who had commited vicious murder(s) previously. the killers job was to kill me and i was.. well supposed to not die i guess lol

the killer that the dream started on, was unable to kill me for some reason. i think i was hiding but i don't quite remember why they were unable to do it. so, after a certain period of time that first killer was vanquished into thin air and out spawned a new one, the second killer.

he seemed to be quite confused of where he was, but also intrigued at the opportunity. it's like he was automatically aware of the task at hand. it's not clear as to why, but somehow he spotted me and we started having a conversation. i think him being attractive could've been part of that (?) why was i not hiding? who knows! ..anyways, he claimed that he has killed a few people daily for a long time, just out of being bored and enjoying it. but he seemed decently mannered and kind in his outward expression.

eventually, it seemed like he was not interested in killing me and more interested that i was being so casual in such an environment. so, i offered to wash his blood stained shirt (ew) to which he seemed very appreciative about. things happened and we found out a way to escape through a tiny window. (i assume this entity that brought people to the room is all-powerful, why would they add a window?) anyways, as we were escaping through the window we saw a small boat and land across ours.

once on the boat we speed to the closest island near us which was holding a shark eating festival :( .. annnndd then we called the police on the tourists eating shark

- 10/25/23:

1: my dad brought home a giant deep fryer and frozen pierogies. after they thawed i kept trying to put a toothpick through the pierogies and into the vat of oil, but the toothpick kept melting.

2: the dream started out with me in a cab, hong kong, dark, rainy. as we were waiting in traffic, i saw a couple with a baby in a dog cage (?) they then threw the baby up and over into a bigger, maybe 20ft high cage. just behind the bigger cage, was a medium-sized crowd gathering around a yellowish dim light with some sort of auction board propped ahead of them. with their backs turned to the cage, many turned around, startled at the sound of the baby being dumped into the cage.

at this point i got out if the cab as more people realized that a baby was being dumped. the couple that had thrown the baby over, started to run away. ..i don't think i was horribly offended by the situation, from what i remember in the dream, but i started to follow them.
quickly i realized, i had lost them and i was going down a entirely cement hallway that was dark as far as you could see with occasional fly-swarmed lights interjecting the darkness.
at some point as i was trying to navigate the hallways a man (possibly on drugs?) yelled at me in a gravely voice that he was going to "rip my ear off" lol. i think that scared me so i ran at random into a hall and through a door that led to a musty room. as i looked around the seemingly empty room, i saw in the kitchen a black cat near a old, oily, open pizza box. (i think it was pepperoni)

3: this one is a little vague but i believe i was either on or observing a reality tv show, which was dedicated to gathering 50ish couples/ex-couples together to try and not cheat on eachother with their exes or with other random participants. oh, and it was in thailand.

people were allowed to bringtheir cats, which seemingly everyone had one or more with them. i remember worrying about how many might excape since it's bound to happen. ...someone brought their cat around in a giant multi tiered lightning mcqueen baby carriage

- 10/19/23: i had missed all my classes for a college course. the teacher being this lady that preached about meditation all class(i do not think the class was on meditation or anything similar) the teacher emailed me that she was getting upset that i was not attending her "lectures", so i emailed her back. but it was too late because the next day as i was looking at the tv, i saw she was being interviewed and she got shot...

- 10/13/23: pear and i were chilling at our new apartments pool and both of our phones fell into the pool. pear's was in the pool for a day(i think she was asleep the whole day) but still worked when she got up. mine fell in for only a few seconds and was destroyed. after she woke up we went to this massive tech department store that carried old products (as well as new). i was looking for a light pink digital camera, but did not have the exact one i wanted.. unsure why i was not looking for a phone. maybe that event was the catalyst for going phone-less

- 10/12/23: persimmon and i were at a beach and this guy with really long brown hair and glasses was taking pictures of his cat to upload into ai, and make the cat into a sexy ai woman on the beach, for clout. a little later a crowd of people started gathering around him to watch him take pictures of his cat (?) after i stopped observing the crowd, the beach started pixelating and it was hard to move. since the beach slopped downwards to the water, it was hard to climb up and escape the pixelation.

- 10/04/23: dog in my parent's neighborhood, the house diagonally right from us, was doing backflips off the lowest tier of roofing onto a skateboard. owner was observing.

- 9/12/23: in this dream i had early onset dementia and went back to my elementary school to clean up colored glitter into categories with the librarian, who was also the mom of my childhood friend. afterwards my dad and i were driving and we needed gas. so, we were at the gas station and this woman was standing nearby with a bazooka. she was telling this dude to back up from her or she will blow up the station and she did. we escaped. but we still needed gas, obviously, we were running out fast. so my dad called persimmon for some reason and said “i think cam(me) might actually get rid of her dementia after this drive”

- 6/16/23: forced to milk cows 24 hours a day